Whether terrorists have planted several nuclear devices in several American cities, I don't know. Are we, as a nation, being held hostage?Why did Bush go into hiding for a whole year-no speeches, press conferences, public appearances... (2005).

If these bombs are detonated, have we promised to respond by nuking Mecca? Are we involved in a sort of nuclear Mexican stand-off with turbaned manaics?

We should fill our bombers with pig grease, and saturate Muslim lands with the offal that supremely offends our enemies.