Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Playboy Interview

The following is a reprint of the interview I had with Playboy Magazine in August 2004.

The Playboy Interview: Zero

A candid conversation with the high priest of metaphysical mischief and re-interpreter of history...

Just a few short years ago only a few bartenders, beatniks, and some local cops around his home town knew of Zero...but with the publication of his remarkable "Manifesto," he is now characterized by such disparite media as The Village Voice, The Times of London, and Pravda, as being "The hottest philosophic property around." Whereas before, only a handful of pool hall habitues and a few academic admirers followed his abstruse online articles, he has since won a world wide following for his brilliant- and frequently baffling-theories about history, politics, and correct dietary practices; his name (muZerohanisme) has entered the French language as a synonym for 'perplexed erudition.'
Though his books are written in a difficult style-at once enigmatic, epigrammatic and overgrown with arcane literary and historical allusions-the revolutionary ideas lurking in them have made Zero a best selling author.
Despite protests from outraged scholastics, and, well, just about everybody else, who claim that Zero's ideas range from demented to dangerous, his free-for-all- theorizing has attracted the attention of top executives, government policy wonks, the Reverend Billy Graham, and the Punk rock movement.
Of his own work, Zero has remarked: "I dont pretend to understand it. After all, my stuff is very difficult."

Playboy: We'd like to start at the beginning. Besides being a poet, mountaineer, internationally respected chess master, and incendiary blogger, you've also been called a visionary. Do you recall any visionary experiences while growing up?

Zero: I had some amazing projections when I was a kid. I kept most of these and merely expanded upon them. These visions are the source of my strength, they keep me going today.

Playboy: What were these visions like?

Zero: They were feelings of wonder. I projected myself towards what I might personally , humanly, do in terms of creating any kind of reality. I was born in a place so far away from my dreams, you had to be there to picture it..

Playboy: are you talking about Omaha, Nebraska...what some call the badlands?

Zero: I always called it the quicksands.

Playboy: Why did you leave Nebraska?

Zero: Well, there comes a time for all things to pass

Playboy: More specifically, why the dream of Africa?

Zero: It was a dream of the rural richness of spirit

Playboy: But that dream turned into a nightmare. Tell us about Rwanda...(the question refers to the Rwandan genocide in 1997)

Zero: I made a mistake. Those machetes - I didn't know what was coming down. I should have walked away, but I didn't.

Playboy: You transported thousands of machetes into the country- there is a photo of you directing Hutu's... You narrowly escaped being put on trial in the Hague...

Zero: I didnt know what was going on until after the fact. Being deported, then held by United Nations police on my way out...I didn't know what was in those trucks until it was too late. I've paid a price...and...

Playboy: After getting that sorted out, you found yourself in Washington. Your discovery there shook that town, and the country, to its core. How did it come about about?

Zero: Well, I was broke. To get by, I thought I'd write for some newspapers. I got this gig, which sent me down a murky path. Inside the archives it was there. And then I caught all of Hells wrath...

Playboy: No one thought such a thing could be. The President ...

Zero: ...finding out that Richard Nixon was really a woman got me in almost over my head. Some things arent meant to be found out. Who could have imagined it? But I had the proof- our former prez was a woman. Her disguise put Hollywood make-up artists to shame.



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